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Dating a psychiatrist

Dating a psychiatrist

But I didn't think much beyond, I don't want to retell my story yet again. It costs too much. I don't have the time. And, most importantly, it hasn't worked in the past. In the last 20 years, I've seen a handful of therapists and psychologists, and I never felt like they helped me address the issue I came to see them for. Most of the time those sessions consisted of me venting or chatting about life.

I could do that with my friends for free, thank you, Doc. But with some more thought, I realized, maybe this could help me, if: That said, there are a few general guidelines that psychologists say could help make your therapy sessions more effective.

Here's what they suggest: Don't necessarily go off referrals. It's nice that your friend or mom suggested you try Dr. Jill, but does she specialize in what you're looking for help with? Even if your physician gives you a referral, that doesn't necessarily mean this psychologist is going to be the one for you.

When it comes to finding a therapist, "fit" is extremely important. So take your time looking through potential therapists before making an appointment. Use those skills you've honed Googling dating app matches or takeout places and do your research—checking out their backgrounds, specialties, and even their fees, Howes says.

He suggests Psychology Today and Good Therapy as good places to start your search. Then narrow down your list to three or four. Before making an appointment, ask for a free phone consultation.

Most therapists will offer free initial phone consultations to new patients. Take advantage of this and ask any preliminary questions you have—like how they work with clients, what their approach might be for whatever you hope to work with them on, and anything else that's important to you.

Then go with your gut. Ask your therapist what progress might look like, and how often you should check in to gauge that progress.

When you first start seeing a new therapist, talk to them about how you'll know if you're making progress both in and outside of your sessions. Then check in with your therapist from time to time, licensed clinical psychologist Stephanie Smith, Psy. See how you're feeling, take note of any changes, and ask your therapist if he or she notices anything different since we don't always see shifts in ourselves. These check-ins will help you stay motivated and develop short-term goals to work towards.

Expect to feel uncomfortable at times. Just like your workouts, sometimes you'll be really excited going to therapy and sometimes you'll loathe it, Smith says. Gur specializes in treating anxiety and depression, and she says that at first clients may feel their symptoms are exacerbated as they work through the uncomfortable issues. But doing so ultimately helps them work toward where they want to be.

Of course, the work you do in therapy—just like your workouts—should never be unbearable or debilitating, so if things are getting to be too much, speak up. Know that you don't need to go into each session with some big thing to discuss. Sometimes the sessions when you think you have nothing to talk about lead to the biggest breakthroughs, says Smith.

But with an open agenda, you and your therapist will have the opportunity to talk about a variety of things going on in your life, where you may discover that there's something you really did want to talk about, after all. And know that you can and should speak up if you don't agree with your therapist. Therapy should feel like a safe, comfortable space where you can say anything. And that includes if you don't understand something, if your therapist pisses you off, if you disagree with something they said, or if you're fearful of what he or she will say.

Gur says. For example, if you hate journaling and know you won't do it—let them know that before you miss a homework assignment. Howes says. And if things aren't working out, don't ghost your therapist. Especially if you have been working together for some time, it's worth talking about ending your relationship if you feel your therapist is no longer serving you. Ultimately, therapy should be bettering your life—even if it's work.

When I decided to try therapy this time, I sought out someone who specializes in treating people with my condition. Luckily, I found someone in my price range whose approach I liked during an initial phone call.

And, even luckier, I've liked working with her. I don't just chit-chat when I come in, I'm not afraid to speak up if she says something I disagree with, and I make sure to leave with concrete action items to work on. It's only been a few months, but so far I feel like I'm getting further than I ever did in the past. Remember that you are giving your time, money, and emotions to this person.

Those aren't things to waste, so demand that you get what you need, and if you don't, find someone who will give you that. Adulting is hard, and therapy can help—don't give up.


Dating a psychiatrist

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