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Dating an addict

Dating an addict

Unpredictable and dangerous, yet sometimes exciting and romantic. Not being able to dependably plan social events. Meanwhile, we rescue him or her from disasters, medical emergencies, accidents, or jail, make excuses for no-shows at work and family gatherings, and patch up damaged property, relationships, and self-inflicted mishaps.

We worry, feel angry, afraid, and alone. We hide our private lives from friends, co-workers, and even family to cover up the problems created by addiction or alcoholism. Our sense of safety and trust erodes as our isolation and despair grow.

Alcoholism is considered a disease. Alcoholics drink to ease their emotional pain and emptiness. Some try to control their drinking and may be able to stop for a while, but once alcohol dependency takes hold, most find it impossible to drink like non-alcoholics.

When they try to curb their drinking, they eventually end up drinking more than they intend despite their best efforts not to. They drink because they have a disease and an addiction. They deny this reality and rationalize or blame their drinking on anything or anyone else. Denial is the hallmark of addiction. Drinks alcohol in greater amounts or for a longer period than was intended 2. Has a persistent desire or has made failed attempts to reduce or control drinking 3.

Spends great time in activities to obtain or use alcohol or to recover from its effects 4. Has a strong desire to drink alcohol 5. Fails to meet obligations at work, school, or home due to recurrent drinking 6.

Drinks despite the recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or worsened as a result 7. Stops or reduces important activities due to drinking 8. Drinks despite a recurrent physical or psychological problem caused or worsened as a result Develops tolerance needs increased amounts to achieve desired effect We try to control the situation, the drinking, and the alcoholic.

This is our denial. In time, we become as obsessed with the alcoholic as he or she is with alcohol. We may look for him or her in bars, count his or her drinks, pour out booze, or search for bottles.

There is hope, and there is help for the addict and for codependent family members. The first step is to learn as much as you can about alcoholism and codependency. Many of the things we do to help an addict or alcoholic are counterproductive and actually can make things worse.

Listen to the experience, strength, and hope of others in recovery. Al-Anon Family Groups can help. You will learn: Read and do the exercises in my book, Codependency for Dummies. I am now back to living with my boyfriend and just got a place with him.

The drinking is starting to get bad again and my son is turning one in just a week and a half. I am worried because it breaks my heart to have my son hear or see us fighting and I want a good life for him. I feel trapped because I cannot afford to live on my own financially and we just signed a lease. If I kick him out I cannot live here on my own. My son deserves the best life possible. I am terrified.

Dating an addict

You have both made questionable choices or have done hurtful things at some point, so there is a mutual understanding that mistakes happen, and they don't mark Dating an addict end of the world. If you're a fan of space, inconsistent talking and independence, dating an addict will bring out your worst. The first step is to learn as much as you can about alcoholism and codependency. The problems that typically plague standard relationships, Dating an addict, from forgetting an anniversary to cheating, create an almost impenetrable barrier in the relationship. DO have empathy for yourself, too. Sexaholics Anonymous: Smoking cigarettes, exercising or having sex are popular stand-ins. No one is perfect. Support groups This section is transcluded from Template: